When lights start to dim..

It's hard when you try so hard to have a better life but deep down you feel like everything is so screwed up that there's no fixing to it. I have made so many bad choices in life and now it has started to haunt me. Will this never end? How long will I have to keep facing the ghosts from my past? I'm tired but I know I have to go on.. I have kids to think about. Which sometimes make me think whether having them was a mistake too. Don't get me wrong.. I love Dany to bits, and this lil unborn child inside of me.. but I have brought them in this world with an uncertain future. Every day, I fear that I my wrong turnings in life would affect them. And desperately I would pray to God to give show me the light at the end of the tunnel.. but at times like this..I sometimes feel that it's getting dimmer and dimmer. I feel like being being on top of the tallest building- looking down feel much more comforting that brazing the wind that keep gushing towards me. Somehow falling seems much easier.