Deep Shit..

My next visit to my doctor would be next week on the 22nd! Gosh, how time flies.. I still haven't even started my moderate eating regime! My biggest fear now is the weighing scale..I find it so hard to not binge or eat sinful food when it's always there haunting me.
For instance yesterday, I ate 4 pieces of white bread with peanut butter. So I thought that would last me til lunch. Then, somewhere along the way- my colleagues offered me chocolate brownie with cherry on top (n cherries are meant to be eaten!), egg sandwiches and pastries! I had to taste them all! It's ridiculous not too because it's there and nobody seemed to be eating it.. and that was at about 11 or so. At lunch I ate bihun curry! Came back to the office, Darlina brought chocolates from Swiss. When I went back home, there was prawn sambal and chicken fried with curry leaves.. and fried chicken I'm afraid is also my weakness. HOOOOOOOWWWWW?????????!!!! I so want this to work- I cannot put on more weight than before but it's so hard when I am constantly in hunger.. like right now! Mind you.. I have eaten two piece of white bread with peanut butter and a piece of nugget before I came to work..and that was only 2 hours ago.......