6 months preggie

In two days- I would be 6 months preggie!
Weight check: 56.5
And that my friends, additional 8 more kgs from the last check up.

I did my visit last Monday. Everything seems to be okay. We did the 4d scan.. I can see the face but can't really make out how he would look like. Ah yes.. it is officially a baby boy.. next mission is to find the name.. it's going to be hard like the first time cos obviously I have a longer list of girls' names.
I told my husband and he sounded a lil bit disappointed..well.. we can't help it..but it doesn't really matter as long the baby is alright and healthy. At least we don't have to worry about the clothes!
I still worry about the baby.. I guess it will never go away until the day the baby is born. I still remember when I was in the operating theatre (being cut open) when I heard the baby wailed, I was holding my breath and until Dany was shown to me. Even then it was a surreal experience seeing him for the first time...especially when I dreamt of so many weird and disturbing dreams throughout my pregnancy.

Although, I must say, this time around most nights I slept thru out the nite with occasional discomforts.. So maybe I'm more relaxed now- worried still especially after the fuss my friends put up with me fasting and my phuket trip..

My recent weight gain of course is freaking me out.. Imagine I have 4 months to go and I'm already putting on 8kg's in one month. Now we donuts everyday, and breakfast and lunches...how? It's so difficult..

I have problems with my wardrobe now. I dont have enuff workclothes and not enuff money to buy.. Whatever I put on I will still look like a sack of potatoes.. On a non- class days I would just wear anything comfortable..maybe not that easy on the eyes.. like today, I'm wearing this L size shirt and XXL skirt with frills..and I think I look like a walking x'mas tree. I can barely fit my bras nor my panties- it's high time to go for shopping..but the budget kinda like in a dry spell.. TENSION!

My backpain is getting worse.. and I can't go anywhere alone with Dany. Because he would have the tendecy to be lifted up.. his regular manjaness attribute of course..

I don't wish my husband to be around cos we would argue every day and I don't need that. He's not that understanding or maybe just plain ignorant. I don't know..

I'm hungry now..can't think of anything to blog... c ya later..

MY NEW FAVOURITE MALL! AEON BUKIT TINGGI

The Aeon Bukit Tinggi just had its Opening last Saturday- and of course- crowded or not. I had to go..It's like 10 mins away from my house and it's just ridiculous if I didn't. Can you imagine if my friends were to ask and I had to say no... So that was Saturday- the place is huge, I mean it's huge and perfect for me.. Cos now we have Sakae Sushi, Big Apple Donuts, Dome, Haagan Dasz (but I must say, very disappointed when there's no Coffee Bean).. all the good food :).

As far as shopping goes, we now have M&G, Blook, couple of nice with potential shoe shops, 9months etc.. So far, I think this is one of the things that makes me happy this year! And when the cinema opens tomorrow- I'd just go crazy. One bad thing.. I can foresee where I would be spending my money at.. and that is not good. This week alone since the opening I was there twice. And of top of that, we have been eating Big Apple donuts everyday now. Someone was just bound to go and buy some.. Crazy aeh-

Sawadikappp....Welcome to Phuket

Our Phuket trip was a blast.. minus the rain and the long walk.. We arrived on late Friday evening, except for Yatt- her flight was delayed dued to bad weather- gosh- pity her what an experience! That nite we kindalike hung out in the room watching tv!

It was a nice place to chill and to have fun with my girls.. Not a place to shop cos everything is quite expensive.. Good food but you have to be extra careful. We stayed at Orchid Boutique and Spa Hotel, which was on Kalim Bay. Small yet cosy- we don't really fancy the English owner though. Stingy! But it's not that far to Patong beach- 600baht via Tuk- Tuk but we walked all the way cum rain or shine! A mental reminder- to be careful when pregnant ladies holidaying with single ladies- they wouldn't know that you get cramps from cold or standing too long! And of course I had my first cramp in Phuket too! The three of us all dressed in bikinis- hahahha..what a sight! Mine was sponsored by Yatt cos she insisted that my very pregnant belly looked better in bikinis than my one piece. Heck- it's Phuket- who cares anyway!

Of course during the day- we were on a Tom Yam Goong quest- we finally found one (allegedly to be halal) and it was really tomyumliscious! Check out the pictures!

I would definitely come back again but next time around perhaps not pregnant!

My raya @ kg

Not that I'm being biased or anything- but would always prefer spending my raya at my kg- Although raya at home always ends up with a trip to the cinema or just chillin' at home but it's far more comfortable and relaxed. Plus, I still prefer my mom's cooking! Anyways- raya at kg. jthis year was actually not bad. We were there from Thursday nite to third Raya. On Friday I made a quickie trip back home. My husband of course didn't quite like the idea giving irrationale excuses. Come on, it's like 20 mins away and I'm paying my own fuel.
Of course- there were lil arguments thru out raya- but I'm already immune to it so it's no biggie.
I managed to actually enjoy my stay there until this one particular moment when my brother in law made a remark on how my husband should demand me to cook. I don't really know whether it was supposed to be a joke but it was in front of everyone and it's not funny to me. I was really biting my tongue then. I almost blurted to him that before you criticise me, maybe u should look at your brother who doesn't provide for his family, hits his wife and most of all has no thinking cell in his brain! And that reminds me of why I hate being there. Because the pretentious game he's playing to deceive his family of thinking that he's a good husband and I'm a bad wife. When his brother said- ask your wife to cook at home.. and he actually replied- Jangan harap! Wah, wah, wah! I still remember when I used to still have hope for him and this marriage- when I was trying really hard to be the doting wife- and seriously I don't think he remembers any of those cos his long term memory cells have all been deleted form his brains from excessive marijuana intake!

BANDUNG!Why do you have to be so far?

10 REASONS WHY I LOVE BANDUNG!

1. Cheap branded clothes
2. Cheap handbags
3. Cheap shoes
4. Cheap everything!
5. I got to eat TWISTERS @ KFC (which I did twice)
6. Easy to get around- kinda..
7. RUMAH MODE!
8. PASAR BARU!
9. No communication breakdown, cos language is pretty much the same- thanks to my
exposure to Indon songs and Indon channel when I was teaching in Pengerang back then
10. Shopping shoppin shopping!

The only things that are not so inviting would be the children beggar, the dirty road and expensive taxi! Oh! And insufficient shopping fund! I would definitely make my way back there again- but this time with a vengence! More days and more money to spend!

Deja Vu

Have you ever watched a movie and you felt like the movie is all about you and your life? Weird aeh, but that was exactly how I felt when I watched the movie, Waitress. I mean it is normal to watch a movie and you go like.. yeah, that's so true! Uh- huh! Got that right! But this movie is like a public exposure of my marriage. It about Jenna, Keri Russell, a waitress who bakes really good home made pies, who is also trapped in an unhappy marriage with a controlling,
jealous husband and the last thing she wants is a baby, so when she discovers she has fallen pregnant, she’s terrified of what the future holds.
The husband- is the exact portayal of my husband, just listening to what he says or how he behaved..I was thinking to myself- they actually made these type of people in mass production..Didn't get to see the ending- so I definitely have to go and get the dvd. It's not actually an interesting movie, a bit slow at times but watch it you would understand me better..well, you have to ignore the part that she's having hot steamy sex with her gynae and she bakes pies!

Welcome to Hong Kong.. (say it like a Hongkie!)

10 things I like about Hong Kong!

1. I got my first stamp on my renewed passport!

2. Hmmm...

3. Hmmm...

Ok I give up.. I don't think I enjoyed my trip to Hong Kong. Of course it was a working trip- we had to work onboard but we did manage to shop at Mong Kok and Temple Street! Nothing extra ordinary- to me it's like Petaling Street and man the food although we found two pakistani restaurants but they were not interesting at all! SO basically- I don't think I'll add Hong Kong to my favourite place to go list!

14 weeks!

I am now 14 weeks- way past my first trimester.. the morning sickness should have been gone by now but I still would get the headache and the nausea every now and then. Went for my second check last Thursday, the 20th. Everything seemed to be ok. My baby was relaxing with one of her hands on the forehead, doc wanted to make her move to some analysis but she just refused to budge.. she's now 11.7 cm in length and my weight is now 46.6 kg which is only 0.1 kg more than before. I don't really think it will continue that way any longer now that I don't really puke that often and I eat two plates of rice for sahur every day. Although I do vomit when I ate too much, or when I eat cheesy stuff, or too much water, or, watermelon, or milk or.. gosh..so many other stuff..I longed for those days when I can just eat without worrying for anything.. I so want to start on my everyday soya regime, especially when now is the month of fasting and bazaar Ramadhan is like my vision and mission every single day.. don't u just love going to bazaar Ramadhan.. I would just go to buy my air kelapa or air tebu for my husband.. and for our family, kuih tepung pelita is a must and every year we would buy it from this gerai called Inn Tepung Pelita which is the best in Klang, of course. This year, my must have would be my popia kentang..hmm..yummy! I still can't bring myself to eat the taufu fa- the thought of it already making me want to vomit..hopefully it would get better soon, it's harder to buy taufu fa when it's the Ramadhan month!

Check this out!

My sister saw this first and we laughed so hard.... They had this on almost all the parking space.. weird isn't it?

The light is slowly shining thru...

Date: 5th September

Weight: I'm sure I've put on few kgs already from the last weekend

Yeah.. finally the nausea is slowly disappearing.. It was not as bad as before- but I still have to be careful of what I eat cos certain food just doesn't agree with me.. sadly, it's ice cream- but I don't care- I still eat ice cream and still vomit after.. stuff like cheese, milk, soya stuff.. But rice I tell u.... Now I know why I ballooned the last time.. I ate plenty of rice and now I'm doing it again.. U see, I don"t actually like rice- I'm a more noodly, junks kind of food. I can go on without rice forever.. except chicken rice- that one I cannot refuse... but rice is the only thing that I can eat now without feeling nausea...So I kinda like eat it 3 times a day now...

So now, I'm not sure if I can achieve my goal of not turning to the same size as before...hmmm...

I still have the headache though... especially if I'm hungry which is quite frequent nowadays...

9 weeks

9 weeks!


Weight: 46.5
Nausea: Yes
Headache: Yes
Vomitting: Yes
Current Emotion: Depressed and Uncomfortable
I don't how long this will last, but I'm already at this stage of banging my head to the wall! I'm tired and pretty much fed up already! I can't enjoy the food, headache is killing me. My husband is not helping- he still smokes around me eventhough I told him over and over again the smell is making my head spins. But at least he has stopped wearing perfume. I don't know how I got thru my last pregnancy!

One of the reason I don't enjoy pregnancy like some people...

I HATE THIS STAGE OF PREGNANCY!!!
Every time I eat I vomit!!Eat! Vomit! Eat!Vomit! Eat! Vomit! And my constant headache.... Dany, lately is like so attached to me.. I'm now above his grandmother.. that I like but sometimes a bit suffocating cos nak gi wee wee pun he wants to come inside the toilet.. but to tell you the truth.. I'm enjoying it though.. only the part that he likes to horsey horsey on my stomach is a bit dangerous la..

I'm P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T

Hmm... Not actually a big news already because we confirmed it last two weeks.. Back then I was a bit mental.. Not exactly thrilled like the first one.. not that I don't want it- but the fact that we can't afford having another one now- and also because I hate my husband and I don't think being pregnant will change him to a better person..

I didn't really sit down and write down my pro's and con's like what Sumy suggested because I know I want this baby and I'm having it..- I just don't know how to cope with it. I certainly can't afford the private hospitals- but there's noway I'm going to a govt hosp. I know my husband it's not going to be of any help.. maybe to send me to the hospital and a couple of hundreds- that's about it. NOT HELPINGGGGGG..........

Anyways I have come to a conclusion to not really think of the finances and hopefully when I'm about to deliver- my firends will donate money ...HAHAHA!! We celebrated my new hopes and renewed happiness by dancing our ass off in HARDROCK!!

Check out my new swimming suits! One for now and the other one when I got bigger..both cost me about RM50..Miri sale! :)

For the sake of blogging

I know I haven't been blogging for weeks now. Been so busy- I don't even have the time to check my emails..anyways..not that I have so much to tell. Same ole same ole! Still broke- hate my husband every single day- well.. I AM trying to like him but most of the time it didn't work! We had good food for the past few weeks- hence the reason why I am so broke.. I have to keep reminding myself that I don't have anyone else to rely on if I finish all my money.

These are the photos from HIDE in Manjalara- eventhough I was not supposed to go there.. anyway- the place is cool. A pool table that still charge RM3 a game. Go figure! But ambience wise- is nothing like the price of the pool table.

WAREHOUSE...AGAIN...

Another warehouse sale in a month. The first one, I spent RM270 for 7 pairs of LEWRE shoes. This time around- was supposed to only get my foundation, liquid eyeliner and blusher. I ended up buying all of that and of course additional liptips, hair colour (I blame Dona) and bought two eyeliner instead of one! RM90 altogether. Welldone Azi! Now we can all eat, drink, and sleep foundation!

A Poem- The Plastic Tree

This poem is dedicated to those people I hold dear to my heart....

Plastic

that ruins the earth

The shine glaring

Piercing to the deepest soul

Colourful and bright

Deceiving on the outside

Yet a hole of nothingness

air of wrath looming

inside...

Plastic

that ruins the earth

all shapes

all sizes

requisitingly innocent

with elegance and demenour

incognito to the looking eyes

yet when revealed

soul polluted with evil

slowly

killing population

on earth

Not easy as ABC...

I'm reading this book by Lydia Teh, Life's Like That and there's this piece about her experience teaching the kindergarten kids for a week and boy! I can definitely relate to that. I'm also doing part time at this language centre u see. Once, they called me up to ask me to replace a teacher for a 'Young Learner' class. And I said, 'Yeah, no problem.' 5- 6 yrs old.. aah.. a group of adorable looking things- I can handle that for two hours. And I was really looking forward to it- I mean a session of drawing, cutting, pasting- that should fun, right? WRONG!!!
They were adorable, no doubt. TOO adorable. Every minutes, at least two of them would go to the toilet. Every half an hour they would ask whether they could go back already. And when I said no, the 'Why teacher?' question would pop. The boys would chase each other, sat under the table. the girls would come fleeing to me to report! Half and hour after the class started I was ready to jump out of the window already!!
This boy, Kishen. Very talkative and never listened to instruction. He would go to all of his classmates to show off his work! Kenneth is the one with the hp and once in awhile he would raise his hand and say things like, "My brother has a new playstation," or ,"I go to Kumon " or "My mom is going to buy me a playstation too."
Char Maine was a quiet lil girl who every now and then would ask me question. "Teacher, do what?" "Teacher, how to do this?" or once I clearly remember until today when I was handing out the glue, and she asked, "Teacher, what's that?" I smiled and said, "This is a bottle of glue,"And she replied, "I know that. (and she had that 'duh' expression on her face) But what's inside? What is glue made of?" And there I was in silence for the longest time. Hmm... interesting, I never really thought about it. I mean yes we did learn about it back in school but that was 2 decades ago since anyone ask me that question. I had to be creative and I told her it is a mixture of a lot of chemical stuff before I quickly probed her to start pasting her cut out pictures. I tell u, when the class finished I had never felt so tired. It was like, all my energy had been drained out of my body!
Like Lydia, I have a new sense of respect to all of the kindergarten teachers. I do not know how you guys manage to do this every day and still stay sane! Hats off to you!!

To Do List!

Before that.. I just have to tell everyone that I chose to wear this extremely ketat baju kurung modern which rite now the stictches about to burst... and I oso look like I'm 5 months pregnant..

Anyways....

Since this is my first day after weeks of doing classes, I have listed down couple of things I need to do today.

1. To clear my desk- Got piles of papers, handouts that I normally chuck it on my table after my classes. I need to organise and throw some awaya I guess.
2. Hmm... that's about it for today. To clear my desk! So that I know where to look for stuff!
2. And yeah- to update my Ref Comms slides and IG!

Insane in the MEMBRANE!!

Gosh! I had practically no time to sit down at my desk for the last.. I don't know.. four weeks? I haven't written anything in my blog- only managed to check emails at home.. Classes back to back and on top of that I have a haggard witch on my tail all the time!!! Can't stand the people here anymore- They are beyond plastic- They are TOXIC! My husband has not been supportive whatsoever- didn't even want to listen because he claimed to have so many things to worry about already! ##$!!! Which is pure nonsense- We have been surviving for the past two months withouta single cent from him.. and he said that! How very sensitive. Now I see clearly how God is punishing me for all my sins in the past.. He sent me my husband! I HATE MY HUSBAND!! I don't even care anymore- if he happens to see this blog.. too bad.. I HATE YOU as much as I HATE MY HAGGARD WITCH FROM THE WEST!! And if you think that I'm a bad wife for telling the whole world- then you marry him! And why I am stilll married to him.. because.. simply because I'm still trying to look for the part of me that used to love him. Maybe this is just a phase which apparently started even when I was pregnant with Dany... Stupid man! Stupid! Oh! I did get my shoes.. All seven pairs of them..Hahaha.. LEWRE warehouse sale! And this weekend LOREAL & MAYBELLINE! I can't wait!
Anyways- I still think I should resign despite whatever that they have told me- I mean- my husband doesn't seem to care- He's not going to get involve in this- but if I do resign and make sure the next job is nearby to his workplace- (which so far has generate no income whatsoever!). God. I'm supposed to bitch about the WITCH- instead I'm bitching about my husband! U see how I am now? I have to handle pressure at home, at work , at the shopping mall (when there's a sale!). Actually pressure at home only when my husband is around.. U see, this is why I can never call mim my hubby- I mean rarely. Because maybe it's a term of endearment and I don't think I can see him that way.. So normally I would refer him as my husband. In a nutshell.. I don't know what to do...

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

Happy Mother's Day And Selamat Hari Jadi Ayah!

In the car waiting before nasi lemak and about to fall asleep!

Reshard meditating!

Friday nite was quite 'sober' wanted to watch Sumolah' with my bro and cuz but..tiket habis so we went to McD drive thru instead.. at 12 am!!! Anyways I planned to hang out at Sumy's place on Saturday after my Cambridge class but rite after I finished my class, I received a very disturbing text from Dona! Quote unquote, "By the way, we're going to Hardrock tonite if you want to join us". What?!! Tonite?! By the way?! We don't use 'by the way' for such shocking news, u know. It doesn't have that softening affect whatsoever- it's like saying, "By the way, I just spent RM3000 on your credit card", or "By the way, your I lost your car". ??!! Flowerpot! And these are my friends...

Remember I used the word disturbing- or that is the because- I've always wanted to just go dancing eversince Dany. And that was almost two yrs back and of course I would want to go. So- I told Sumy, she understood how desperate I was of going. Then I got home- watched E! til 9 pm before I showered and got ready. I still had a pile of 'xs' clothes on my bed which I couldn't wear from that nite! I settled with this top which I thought made me looked slimmer but apparently did not! (Refer to the pix please)

We got in about 12 a.m- Dona, Yat, Warda, Zureen and Nyah (Dona's cuz a.k.a our driver 'TO 'Hardrock). A group of 'senior' clubgoers in denial.. HAHAHA! We started dancing the minute we got in til about 3 a.m and my oh my..hahaha... tak sedar diri pulak tu... Today, as I walked down the staircase, my kneecaps feel like falling off my legs! A good exercise because I was sweating like a pig! But we had to close the nite with nasi lemak Kg Bharu! We should make this a special occasion kinda of thing- like birthdays, anniversaries or u know bad mood day...whatever! That was FUN! A nite to pretend that we're still in our teenage years! But it should only be like once in a blue moon kinda thing, u know.. cos my body just can't take it anymore!Hahaha!

On Sunday, (still not feeling the effect yet) I woke at 11am, sent my husband his clothes, went to Bangsar for threading. Just found out that that eyebrow and upper lip is only 10 bucks. Cos I normally do it together with 'u-know-where' <-- not there but u know- waxing and it will come up to 20 bucks. anyways- after that, went to BSC to join the rest of my family for a 'Mother's Day' cum 'Ayah's birthday' at Chili's. Yummy! I had a bite at everyone's food and ended up ditching my Caesar Salad and Brocolli Cheese Soup. But I got my salad twice! I ordered Caesar with chicken which they have forgotten about. So when I have already finished my salad they wanted to give me the chicken which is stupid, so they had to give a fresh plate of salad too! The I tapau-ed and the broccoli cheese too and brought it to Sumy's! Oh yeah- Zureen joined us too!

Went to Sumy's after that- went to mamak first cos Sumy just wanted a breather away from home. Reshard and Mia both gave me a pink and a yellow flower for Mother's Day! As usual, Abang will play with Dany but a bit rough so scares Dany all the time, Dany would be bullying Kak Mia- pulling her hair and slapping her. Somebody would be crying for some reason.. But I'm just glad they are quite close ( Sumy n I would like to believe so- lah!), they are still bonding and hopefully it turn out okay. I got home from Sumy's at about 10 something, probably 11 pm- not sure.. But what a HECTIC weekend I tell you- my shoulders, my legs are still feeling the effect from it!!!

Guys- thank you for making it a blast!!

Haha!

U know after all that fuss I made about losing my lil black purse? My hubby found it under the seat of our car.. Hehehe.. I would like to now officially take back all the cursing I did two days ago. Thank you God!

Jum's back!

So, Jum's back at least til the 25th May- She's 3 months pregnant!I'm so excited! We had a gathering couple of days back. Wanted to go to of course my favourite place in Klang (the only hang out place that I like and I know- food's great n cheap!)- Pak Li Kopitiam but they're closed every first week Monday, therefore we adjourned to Kg Warisan- not to my liking cos the first and the last time I was there- I was not that impressed with the food. Anyway- they all wanted to go there- oklah- golah- To be safe I ordered Soto- I mean how can soto go wrong rite?!Soup and nasi impit what?!If it''s bland I can just add in plenty of cili padi. But salty it was- No more Kg Warisan- the rest of the food that they ordered also x sedap!

There were 6 of us, myself, Jum, Fara, Anna, Nick and Azza. We had fun laughing at ol'times. These are all my high school friends- from the girls' school, just before I got corrupted and became a delinquent... these are my emm.. prim and proper friends- perhaps not Jum- but still I love them. If I hadn't changed school, I'd probably be a good girl too.. hm.... naah.. I doubt it.. hehehe... Despite having different wavelength at times, also I will definitely not smoke when I'm with them, we actually had fun! We drifted apart when I guess I had different priorities- Looking back, I do regret but I guess things just happened. But now as I get older I begin to cherish my friends and the friendship that we have- although I don't have many now- but I think it's good enough. ;)

First real blog

I have actually created this blog page in 2004- 2004! 3 years went by- I haven't written anything but the 'testing' word.. That should prove how hangat hangat taik ayam I am..hehehe.. For the umptenth times now- I vow to religiously make this a routine for me.. perhaps Dona is rite- It could help me to keep me sane at times.. when you write, it will give you space to reflect on things. So this would be like a diary for me- to spill the dirt and juices about my life- basically for me to moan and vent and just cry over my pathetic life!Ok- I may sound ungrateful and bitter..bitter maybe but still grateful and I do count my blessings- but I do know apart from the hurdles that I'm going thru- God does love me when he gave me Dany, he gave us good health and a good job. So I maybe bitter but at the same time I am hopeful and grateful. I just need a place to let out my steam...

Let me start with this morning- when I transfered all my things into a different handbag, I realised a small purse of mine is missing! With my lisence, atm card and MY CASH! Not much but it was my gas money for two weeks... Maybe this is because I haven't started to pray since my period which by right I could have already yesterday..On top of that, my 'darling' husband is accusing me of accusing him of losing the purse when I asked him one mere question of 'When you were going thru my bag last nite looking for the ciggie did you happen to see it in the bag?' He went bizerk after that- raising his voice- the usual stuff and there I was trying to recall whether I was using the wrong intonation when asking! And he brought up the issue of his Converse which he put them outside of the house and apparently went missing! God! But then again when he told me about it few days ago also I didn't really react much to it.. cos all this while he kept his shoes in our room for the obvious reason of things do get stolen if you leave them outside. So? Maybe the both of us are insensitive and we need to work on that. But I definitely did not yell at him.. I mean, c'on. The money for gas is missing- don't I have valid reason to freak out?

Listening to : Come and talk to me- JODECI
Food: Binging on Special Dark Hershey Choc
Mood: Not good!